Alright, just don't go nutso with the rubber band thing.

Fragile can lead to death. I don't think you want that to happen.

You should try the rubber band thing.

I don't think I'm pretty, but thanks. : )

90 pounds...wow. That's not really healthy, if you think about it. If you weigh that much you are so fragile, just falling could hurt you.

You cut also? Have you tried anything to stop you from doing that?

telling a teacher is reaching out for help, of course you tell her she will most likely contact someone so that she can offer you all the help you need-

I am studying in the medical field, and you know there's the whole confidentiality thing when you talk to patients, but when their life is at risk, I would have the right to tell the other physicians on staff. I think it;s the same thing with teachers.

You don;t have to purge that apple though, you're not eating junk

Alright.

How much do you weigh.

Haha I totally just spelled exercise wrong in my last comment...

Anyway, if you feel tired or dizzy, just make sure you stop. 

I hope you do well! An apple a day keeps the doctor away ^.^ Yeah I'm a dork.

So you're mom actually made you eat meat? Try to explain to her what you want to do. I'm not a vegatarioan, I've tried, but it didn't work out, but I think that parents should allow their children to be if they desire. My friend was one, but after a couple years if she didn't eat meat she would die, some disease or something, so she had to start up.

I know what you're talking about with the chips thing. Just try to eat the chips that aren't so bad, or replace those with grapes.

I know it's you choice, but think about this.

You can keep your weight down by being a vegatarian along with eating healthy foods. Go about two weeks without anything unhealthy then treat yourself to lets say chocolate. And if you want to have children you'll need to have to eat and not throw it back up.

Alrighty. :]
It's way good, so yeah.

-JV

Haha. Yeah.
Did you ever pick up any of that Propel Fitness Water I told you about?

-JV

Clinically, for the record, to be really bulimic you would have to be binging and purging something like 3 times a week for two/three consecutive months.

please, please please don't do this. I know I am being totally hypocritical. I have an eating disorder and I have been from hospital to hospital to hospital. Tube fed, force fed, everything. years of suffering

I'm asking you to think about what is happening. Is this really what you want? I know if I could go back.. I would.. now I can't. I am stuck in this.

What if like you said you just ate healthy foods. Instead of giving in when someone offers you something unhealthy, why don't you just tell them no? No because it is not healthy, . It is even worse to give in and then throwing it up.....

please if you need to talk I am here...

Hasta la vista. :]

And I don't think you're necessarily bulimic, because bulimics throw up to make themselves feel better about themselves after they pig out.
But then again, you did throw up because you ate something unhealthy, so maybe you could reason that out and say you're bulimic.
Idk.

-JV

well im glad you told some one.:)

telling ur teacher would be a great idea.:)

it would help u see urself alot better.

:)

u feel like crap with this ed.its slowly killing u.

and that scares the crap out of me.=[

i honestly dont know if i could handle losing you.

i mean,im already enough of a lunatic,what will happen if i snap?

please dont do this.we need u here.=[

whats the song in your entry? i like it

tomorrows a new day :)

the best way to keep them from knowing is to get help so you don't have an eating disorder.

take care.

thats the thing though,we all gain weight.

its part of growin up.:)

i know,i used to think diferently too,but i looked at the facts and had a long conversation with my anorexic mind.(or ana.)and this is how i got over her.this is why i want to save u.

if im so fat,why do all the others tell me different?

the ones that do say im fat,aren't i just giving them what they want by changing for them?

does their opinion really matter that much?

how come even though i reached my goal weight,im not happy?

why am i still not thin enough?

why do we have stomaches if we dont need to eat?

why do we have the instinct to eat when we're hungry,but u tell us not to?

how come i gain all the weight back if i eat again,but if i dont eat i get thinner and thinner untill im too thin to stand,when my organs close down and i look like a skeloton?

so i cant eat even though im at my goalweight,because i cant gain the weight back?

but i cant not eat because im loosing too much weight?

so what do i do?

am i supposed to keep starving?

do i keep eating?

when i keep starving,i will eventually starve to death.

when i keep eating i gain the weight back,but im alive.

life?

or death?

is thin really worth it?

how come when i eat and exercise,i feel great?

how come the weight stays off,but i still look healthy?

how come i feel energized?

how come i get more compliments?

how come i am happy?

because i am over ana.because im doin this the right way.because im in controll now,and i know how to care for my body.:)

-kaylee

[kayleelovesbones]

please hun..

i wish i could do something..to stop this..i know ur sick of it,and i just want u tl be happy.

:(((

*sigh*

-kaylee

:(

"how come ur always such a fussy young man?

'dont want no captain crunch,dont want no raisan bran.'

well,dontcha know that other kids are

starving in japan,so just

eat it,just eat it.

lalalalalalalala

get ur self an egg and beat it!

just eat it,just eat it."

yea sorry about that.lol that was a song from weird al,its a parody for mikal jackson's 'beat it' lol.

hun,i know that part of u wants this ed to be over.

ur not fat,u just have a distorted image of urself.

u cant do this on ur own,and even though i'll always be here for u,i cant do it either.u really need to consider talking to someone,an adult,that can help u through this.

wouldnt u like to see urself as the thin,pretty girl u are?

becaus eu arent fat,thats just how u see urself.

please,just think about it.i hate seeing this ed ruin ur life.

-kaylee

gawjus...cheer up :D

xx

Polkadotcutie186,

You don't need to be thin to be pretty. You are pretty on the inside and that's all that matters. People will like you whether you are fat or thin. Everyone needs to eat to live, so you should not stop eating. Maybe you should see a psychologist or talk to your parents.

Good luck with everything and enjoy your day.

J

im sorry chick!

try to get plenty of sleep and maybe take some cold medicine..

hope that helps u if not,u might need to go to the doctor,u might have the flu or somethin..sorry im not veryy good with the medical stuff..:(

get well soon doll!

-kaylee

haha deal.:)

-kaylee

yeah! LETS DO IT!

=D starting tom. =]

ugh i have tried to purge too but i cant. Have fun! =P

[ripcrisco]

lol i already excersiced today but i feel like i did absolutely nothing,hahaha i feel like a cow too. i dont even want to loook at the scale!=/

ok i deleted urs too.

ugh i feel so embarassed but whats ur name? lol

mine is alex. (yeah its a guys name, i was named after my g-pa)

i dont know why it has to be hard but it is i mean i just started and i wasnt even as bad as u.

and even I have issues still i gained like 5 pounds and i feel sooo fat!! ugh i wish i could view myself better.

how r u doin??

do u want to fast with her?

if so,than PLEASE drink water,at least.:)

and if ur not supposed to drink water while fasting,than please do not exercise tomorrow..cuz ur supposed to have loads of water when u do that lol.

but if u dont want to fast,then dont.

im sure she'll understand if u dont feel like fasting..

-kaylee

aawwwwwww!!

ur awesom-er!

and thanks ur my bestie too.:)

seriously,im closer to u than ppl iv met in person lol.

-kaylee

haha okay i deleted the comment after i read it since its supposed to be secretivish lol.

i just dont want u to get hurt,ya know?

please dont do this unless u KNOW that it will make u happy.

u being happy is all that matters anyway,no matter what size u are.if u weigh 400 pounds or 40 idc i'll still love u.:)

and i just found the funniest thinspo song ever lol i'll post it later...

-kaylee 

yea hun sure..
i got yahoo

kayleelovesthestars@yahoo.com

I've lost 12lbs at least

let me how day 2 is going!

-kaylee

mdd?

ur sooo not annoying. talking to u helps me =]

=]

well im happy that your going to beat ana.

right now im trying to stop eating lol kinda weird right?!

well i start tomorrow so wish me luck

oh and good luck to u too.

&& dont fast on monday if you dont want too.

leave mdd if you feel like it's the best decision for you.. sometimes i think im healthier if i dont use this site... have you ever tried healthy weightloss?  and my fast is going great, I haven't eaten since Sunday night and it's Saturday afternoon.  :) 

yayu stayin!!

and i can assure u that u are no where near annoying.

not even close.ur really funny and very interesting to talk to.

u are definately not annoying.

just try to eat healthy foods,and remember that im 120!i just forget the numbers,i quit weighing myself.i quit measuring.

i enjoy eating these days.:)u should too.

its gonna be really hard,but i know that u can do this.

maybe u could get a pro on the subject to help u get over ana?

just a segestion.:)

-kaylee

hun we could never hate u!

but u really need to decide watcha want more..

one min u want ana,the next u want her gone.

what do u REALLY want?'

just try to focus on that for now.

what i do know is that ana is making u sad.and i do not like seeing u sad.u deserve happiness.:)

-kaylee

everyone feels that way after eating more than their usual, hopefully you won't let it take over this time though and just look at the positive fact that it's far healthier to eat than not to

what happened to the pancake plan??

i love pancakes.

u DONT want her back.

she's still there tryin to tell u that.

the real u knows that this is wrong and that u need to eat more.

ily!

-kaylee

i'm happy to see this entry. i'd much rather see entries where people are trying to stop this behavior, rather then ones where people are trying to harm their bodies. you won't gain a lot of weight as long as you exercise and eat healthy. that's the main thing. as long as you do that, you're fine. sure you'll gain a little weight, but it will be healthy. and you'll feel soooo much better. just make sure you eat healthy and exercise. good luck girl!

love.venus

yay weirdness!lol.

awwsome song chicka...i love it "we were both young when i first saw you..."

dang ily taylor swift.lol.

thats so sweet!im just glad that ur tryin to get over this ed..

at first i didnt really have a problem with it cuz i had one too,but then i did a little research and it really does ruin you.

-kaylee

haha i know im so weird.:)

oh well iv always been and always will be a weirdo.:P

and thats good.u deeserve to be happy.u deserve to be strong.

if ur strong enough and have enough will power to starve yourself,then i know very well that you can do this the healthy way.its still hard,but u end up happier,and its easier than anorexia.no matter what ur anorexic mind tells you,its better to do this the healthy way.

thats great!enjoy ur holidays,and please try to get rid of this ed.

i'll always be here for u for someone to talk to,and to help u through this ed.that is a promise.:)

ya know whats weird?the friends that im the closest to are the ones i have never met in person.weird.

maybe im just weird lol.wait i already knew that!

-kaylee

okay before u read this,this is a warning:u said u wanted to get over ur ed,well im about to tell u a few things,so dont freak out lol.

i just told u that i was anorexic for a fictional vampire,and your worried that your stupid?

wow.no hun,ur not stupid lol.i am.

loads of ppl want to be thin and pretty.its normal.

u are thin,u are pretty.maybe scary skinny isnt the prettiest thing after all?is it really worth everything u lose?

ur happiness?ana is usually hand in hand with depression.

ur goals?'forget them.you'll be too busy in reaching ur new goal:being skinny

ur health?forget that too.once u develope anorexia,ur organs fail after long periods of not eating enough.

ur growth?you'll stunt ur growth being anorexia.you need the nourishmant food gives u to grow taller.

your friend's and family's trust?that slowly fades.after all the lies and excuses u give them for not eating and getting out of meals,they stop believing u.

ur dreams?well forget those.ur only dream now is being skinny.you'll be too busy counting calories,over exercising,and trying to throw up to pursue any new dreams.

ur energy?the food deprivation will take ur energy away.

i weighed 115 before,then dropped to 112 and stayed there throughout the anorexia.

and ur right.u either are gonna gain some weight back,or starve untill ur dead.its a choice u have to make when it comes down to it.live or die?u have to realize that the numbers on the scale,do not play a very significant part in being thin.

say there is a girl who is starving herself,(not long enough to lose too much weight,but u get it)and there is a girl who eats and exercises.they both look very thin,but the one that eats is stronger.u weigh them,and the girl who is starving weighs 90,but the girl who eats weighs 110.they look exactly the same,but the one who eats and exercises weighs more because muscle weighs more than fat.so dont stress about the numbers lol.

u can be like your cousin,but your gonna have to eat healthy and exercise.eating healthy doesnt mean surviving on celery sticks.u can have anything u want,bread,chocolate,meat,fruits,sugar,and veggies.

the key to being skinny and staying skinny is eating a little of all the different food groups.it will keep u healthy and energised,and u can be thin too.

and dont be sorry for ur comment bein long.i love long comments,and this one is super long lol so its fine.

-kaylee

honestly,ana went as soon as it came.

i suddenly realized that,even though i could care less that this disease was ruining my body,that if edward was real,he wouldnt find me attractive no matter how thin i was.

i realized that i was ruining my body,for a fictional character.

and that if i did loose weight,i would be too skinny.because i would always either be too skinny or too fat.everyone would always see me differently.

i also realized that,its impossible to gain muscle without eating.

and to be honest,being that skinnyy isnt the most important thing to me anymore.because after realizing all of that,i know that i didnt wanna be skinny for me,but for othr people.not only ppl,but people that dont exist.

either way,i started eating again.i now weigh 120.and im happy.i still dream about him.but i dont dream to be scary skinny anymore.

-kaylee

I ate some chips and a salad.

UGGGH.

I'm going to excersize in a bit.

i know!

i was just reading twilight and realized i was sweating bullets

and then looked up and the walls were changin colors!i was like wtf is goin on!and i looked in the mirror and my pupils were like wacked out and im kind of yellow.heehee like bart simpson?

i love google.:)its the shiznip.

-kaylee

yyay!

good.i would be so thirsty lol..

hun please drink some water...no calories and super good for u.

u shouldnt be proud from not DRINKING  anything!!

that is SO not good!please dont dehydrate yourself!

please go get some water.please?its really not good to not drink anything all dayy with the exercising...

-kaylee

Just don't do it too often or every day, because that won't do you any good. It'll just be taking the water from your cells.
And don't drink regular water.
Try and find a fitness water, like Propel.
They have a fitness water, called Fitness Water, and it's only 20 calories.
But trust me, it's better than just having regular water.

-JV

Because you have no nutrients.

-JV

Good job hun, I'm proud of you.

UGH, I broke the fast.
I feel so fucking fat.
I swear I gained like 3 pounds.
I ate a small salad cause I didn't feel good, then I just couldn't stop eating.
I'm a failure.

Stay strong.

dont be mad at yourself!please?

you can be skinny and eat sometimes too.

because if u dont eat everyonce in a while,you could die.SCARY.lol

but seriously if u dont eat enough,ur organs start to fail:not good.

so just think of ur slip ups as survival food.

just tell yourself,u had to eat that day,or else u wouldnt be here.

and u wouldnt be able to exercise efficiantly if u didnt eat.

good luck sweety,stay strong;u will be thinner.

-kaylee

well maybe u should eat and fast with me starting on monday??

[ripcrisco]

http://literaryaddict.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/bulimia-anorexia.jpg

Yup that's beautiful

i dont have a problem with ur diet,but i wish u could just grasp how beautiful u really are.im just scared that if u loose more weight,u wont be as pretty as u are now..

but idk.im just worried that maybe u dont have a clear veiw of yourself.maybe im wrong.i don know lol.

idk bout u ,but after i exercise,i feel like superwoman.heehe.im like hell yea i just kicked butt!lol.its like being high from a treadmill lol.

today i had:lots of coffee.ofcourse,:)the inevitable

then for my thanksgiving feast,i had turkey(which i didnt realy eat becaus ei have a secret phobia of getting food poisoning from turkey lol),cheesy potatos,chicken and dumplings,a roll,lemon and chocolate pudding and deviled eggs.

then for supper i had toast and scrambled eggs.

:)i indulged alot today,because its the holidays,and im a kid;i have the metabolism of a friggin squirrel,i think im strong enough to handle a few dishes while still keeping up my "girlish figure" lolol...lmao.then loads of caffiene infested coke.lol.

okay i need to sleep..

dont freak out if i sound drunk on this comment;im just super tired and its made me delirious.so to help me sleep,im goin to count sheep...okay thats 1 sheep, 2 sheep, red sheep, blue sheep....a,the,um,,sheepss..edward..sh-sheeppps..zzzzzzzzZZZzzzZzzzzzzz*falls asleep while drooling*

*dreams about edward*

-kaylee:)))))))))))))))))))

dont cry!:(

try to get some water,i think u might be dehydrated...not good.

im sry u dont feel good!

but that workout was great,u shoulkd be proud of urself.:)

-kaylee

Do you even care about how what you do hurts other people??

Read the first few entries of my diary.. Maybe then you'll fucking understand..

ur not a failure.

you have exercised ALOT today,so u burned off more than u ate.

ur still losing weight.dont sweat it!

ur still thin.u will be thinner.

-kaylee

I'm with you for the fast hun.

And stay strong, thin will win.

anytime sweety.:)

and actually..u dont need ana.u need YOU.more than anything else.

YOU can do this.ana cant.its the part of the ed that makes u feel like crap.

try to make ur ed about u.ur doin this for u.YOUR doin this.not ana.

try to think of it like that.ho knows?maybe it'll help.:)

things wil be better tomorrow.just try to get some sleep tonight.

wel idk lol its near 10 pm here but idk what time it is where u live lol.

-kaylee